I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
