My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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