whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
