He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
