I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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