Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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