grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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