And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
