Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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