it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
