You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He better not be in your backpack
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
