Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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