went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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