Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
