Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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