dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
