i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
