I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
