Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
