go do what you do best...puke behind churches
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Im part way to drunk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
