we have pet lesbian snakes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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