I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
