Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
