she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
