i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
