is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
