new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The air was thick with penises
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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