Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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