I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
