at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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