So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
