Its about making memories worth repressing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
