I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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