Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My vagina is very pro this idea
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
