Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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