So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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