Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
