My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
