alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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