Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize