I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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