Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
