I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
