I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
