i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
