It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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