If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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