I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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