Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
