I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
