Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
