For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
