he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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