dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
