so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
