My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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