evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
