So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
nutella sex= disaster
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
