Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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