Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize