Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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