mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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