I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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