were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
