I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize