So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
