sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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