Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
