i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
