i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Randomize
