Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
