his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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